Set Fire To The Rain
by Rachel2020
Summary: "I can't do this without you." If only she knew the half of it
1. Old Faces

**New Fic!**

**I couldn't leave you guys hanging for long, plus I've had my heart set on doing a POV fic for a while now, so much easier to write than third person. Alot more fun too :)**

**Hope you like it!**

**CHAPTER 1: Old Faces**

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><p><strong>ASHLEY'S POV<strong>

I've been stuck in this place for three days now. God knows sometimes I hate my job, these damn clients it's always something else with them. Good thing I'm not involved with anyone, they'd probably dump me for 'cheating' too many late nights, not enough 'together' time. Hell, I can't be bothered. I need someone who understands me, my time, and my work.

Over the past few years my work has been my mask, it's helped all this time, it's been a good friend but lately…lately I've been feeling so alone. The other day I stopped by Joey's to get a cup of coffee and there was this couple there, they were so lost in each other it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. Couple's never bothered me but I was sitting there then I heard the red head laugh, and I couldn't help but turn and look at them, her laughter sounded just like _hers_ and it hurt to hear that sound again, I wasn't prepared for that. And when the brunette touched her I could see something ignite inside of her, it made me miss being touched, held.

Now I'm sitting here, empty take out boxes in the corner and my desk piled with work. I need to get out of here, screw Masterson and his damn lawsuit; I'll take care of this later. As I'm packing up my door opens and Jessie's head pries through the half opened door.

"Hey Ash, you're dad just called for you, he wants to know if you're coming home for dinner tonight."

"Yea, tell him I'll be there in about an hour,"

When I say this I can see her smiling. "Good, it's about time you told this office to flip off,"

Jessie's been working with me for six years but we've been friends a lot longer. We became friends when she so 'fearlessly' defended me from Jeremy Fisher in the third grade. I'd say that defense was rather reckless though, she was eight and scrawny, he was about twice both our sizes so she could've gotten a massive beat down, thank God for Mr. Parker, came in the nick of time to save us. But yea, everyday after that we sat together, spent weekends together, sleepovers, ended up in high school then went to UCLA together, she was there when I had my first heartbreak and she's still here now. I honestly don't know how she puts up with my mess but it's good that she's there when I need her, I would've probably buried myself alive if it weren't for her.

"Jess I'm heading out, aren't you going home?"

"Yea, Danny's coming to pick me up in about 10."

"Oh ok, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Sure thing, and your dad said to pick up some asparagus on your way home!" she yells at me as I close the door.

Its cold out tonight, I keep forgetting Christmas is just a month away. I need to start shopping for presents before this rush sets in, if it hasn't already.

"Thanks Mike," the asparagus looks pretty good, this should last my dad a while, I don't know how he eats this thing and so often. I'm walking through the door and this woman stops me, she's been eyeing me since I got into the store, now she's staring at me and I have no idea who she is.

"Ashley, Ashley Davies! I knew it was you when I saw you but I just couldn't believe it, you look so different, so reserved," she smiling widely and I'm still lost as to who she is.

"I'm sorry bu—,"

"I thought so, it's Kelly…Shaw? From Riot Ent.?"

I say the name over in my mind until that light bulb comes on,

"Kelly! Hey!" I give her a hug, "I'm so sorry but I really didn't recognize you."

"It's okay Ashley, four years is a pretty long time,"

"Yea it is."

Kelly was a PR they assigned to me when I was signed to Riot Entertainment, she was a really good friend, covered for me when I had press work and used to sneak out to be with _her_.

"You know it's funny I should run into you, I was just running through my head a list of people we might look into for a performance at the Thanksgiving luncheon in three weeks and I'd have to say, Riot would love to have their Platinum seller on board for this event."

"I don't know Kelly, I haven't played in a long time besides, that was my past and I—,"

Her eyes widen as she looks at me, she senses the tension and decides not to push it, she must have forgotten.

"I get it Ashley," she reaches into her purse and pulls out a business card then writes her cell number on the bank. "Please, please, please think about it. I know this is sudden, four years and now bam but please. Other than that, call me sometime we can meet up for drinks," she winks at me before giving me a quick hug and leaving.

That was weird; I drop the card in my purse and shake my head. I'm not sure just how 'sudden' Kelly realizes her request is. Sweet girl, not a bright thinker…when it came to her job definitely top of her game but not so much on the personal things, and that's why you don't mix business with pleasure, but _she_ was my only exception.

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><p>"Dad! I'm home!" where is he?<p>

"In here sweetie," I walk into the dining room to see him setting the table, "Hey there rock star, it's good to have you home, how long has it been, a year?"

"Dad it's been three days," I laugh as I walk over to kiss his cheek.

"It seemed longer,"

"Here, I got your asparagus" I hand him the bag and he can't seem to take the smile off his face.

"You bought this one to last, good girl."

I start laughing when he says that, "So what's for dinner?"

"Chicken Alfredo,"

"Yum, sounds better than take out,"

"It _is_ better than take out, I cooked," my dad's never been modest about his cooking, he wasn't just good at it he was great at it.

We're eating now and this chicken is delicious, seasoned to the bone, he was probably marinating it for two days earlier.

"This is really good daddy,"

"I told you," he smiles, "I'm glad you like it, you need to eat better."

Here it goes, the lecture. My dad makes it his point of duty every other few weeks or so to tell me I need to take better care of myself, get out and meet people do something for me instead of my job for a change, he's right but I honestly don't want to get into it with him right now…again.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"You know I'm not seeing anyone daddy,"

"You should get out more, live a little."

"I know,"

"You say that but you're not doing anything to change it,"

"Nothing needs changing dad,"

"She's not coming back Ash,"

I look up at him, I'm not sure of the look I'm giving him right now but it's not a pleasant one, he _always_ does this. I know he loves me but Jesus!

"I know that dad,"

"Then do something about it damn it! I hate seeing you bury yourself in your job like you don't have a life, you're 26 years old for crying out loud, you should be smiling, where's that smile. I miss seeing it, and the light in your eyes, where did it go?"

"Can we please not talk about this anymore daddy?"

I look over at him and he's slowly wiping his eyes, I hate it when this happens.

"I'm sorry," I can see that he is.

"I know."

"I just want you happy,"

"I know."

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><p>Well dinner wasn't all that bad, my dad's out with his friend Jeffery and I'm standing here, alone, gazing out the window, I pick up my glass of wine from the coffee table, hadn't even realized I placed it beside a picture of us, it was done in black and white, but even in black and white I can still see the fresh, rich color in her eyes. I put the picture down and turn to look out the window sipping my wine. I hear the thunder crash then the sky brightens, minutes later the rain starts beating against the window, great, at least now I know I'm not the only one hurting right now.<p> 


	2. Somebody Save Me

**Thank you guys for all the positive reviews and the need to see this story through, a chapter a day makes a happy reader right? Well I hope it does 'cause that's what I plan to do. A chapter a day.**

**Anyhow, just getting warmed up, have fun reading guys!**

**Oh, and Sgarc12, you sneaky fox, you took the story right out of my head...but you are right though, just so you know**

**CHAPTER 2: Somebody Save Me**

Shit, its 9:00AM, I should have been in the office over an hour ago, how did I miss my alarm? Why didn't he wake me, was this some sick revenge plot because of last night? Oh man, he so off of asparagus for the next month!

I run down the stairs, my hair's a mess my stockings in my mouth fighting with the bagel I just grabbed, my zippers not up yet and I almost trip over my dad's golf club, why does he leave his things around the house like a five year old? When I make it to the bottom I notice he's casually lounging around, beer in hand and Jeffery by his side watching a Maverick's game. He looks as if he's surprised to see me, he opens his mouth to speak and I cut him off,

"Why didn't you wake me up? Is this because of last night? Word of advice dad, this is _not_ the way to get me to take time off from work."

My eyes shift to Jeffery who's laughing now, why is he laughing? Does he think this is funny? I give him a dirty look and he bags it.

"It's Sunday Ashley, last time I checked you stayed _home_ on Sundays."

"Oh," I feel like such an idiot right now and they can tell because Jeffery's laughing again and my dad joins him. Real funny guys. I drop my briefcase and flop down on the last stair, chewing on my bagel; yes I took out the stocking.

"That year at work has really messed up your sense of time."

"Three days dad, three days."

"Hey Ashley, why don't you go change and come watch the game with us."

I think for a second, haven't spent much time with my dad but now that I think about it I need sleep, and lots of it.

"Tempting offer dad but if you don't mind I'll just go back upstairs and reacquaint myself with my bed."

"That's good too," he's smiling, great. I hated seeing him so upset last night.

"Thanks dad, later Jeff,"

It took me a while to move from the stairs back up to my room. I slipped out of my skirt and pulled the rubber band from my hair, too tired to put anything else on I throw myself on the bed reveling in the comfortable softness beneath me and just like clockwork, I'm snoozing again.

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><p>Oh, popping that back muscle just felt good, when I look over at my clock its saying 1:21PM, not bad for four hours of sleep. What to do today, I haven't had a day off in so long I've forgotten what it feels like to be work free. My stomach just growled so I guess that's decided then, I'm eating today. When I go down stairs my dad and Jeffery are gone, at least they cleaned the place up. I pick up the Sunday paper my dad left on the coffee table and make my way to the kitchen, nothing interesting; I pull out the cartoon section and leave the rest of it on the kitchen counter.<p>

'_Gone fishing with Jeff, be back Tuesday, lots of food in the fridge. Love Dad.'_

The note on the fridge. Well at least I don't need to worry about him for a few days. When I open the fridge everything is packed inside Fit n' Fresh containers, I look inside the freezer, my eyes deceive me not, dad bought ice-cream, God I love him. Not the ideal breakfast but I'm not really interested in the dietary right now; I want ice-cream…and coffee.

There's nothing on T.V. I'm mindlessly playing around with the remote trying to find something to watch and the television freezes, shit. Why did I have to be here when this happened?

"Dad, do you have the number for a technician?"

"_Why do you need the number for a technician sweetie?"_

"The T.V. broke,"

"_What do you mean it 'broke'?"_

"It froze dad, and I can't unfreeze it."

He starts laughing on the other end of the line, hard. Really hard, and it's embarrassing. I can feel my cheeks getting hot and wonder what stupid thing I did. I don't interrupt him, when he gets back on the line he starts apologizing.

"_I'm sorry sweetie but that was funny. It's not broken, I got TiVo, have had for a while now."_

When he says this I feel like throwing myself into a brick wall, I can _not_ be that clueless. He tells me how to unpause it and we're on track again.

"Thanks daddy, love you too, bye."

So I'm sitting around watching Desperate Housewives catching up on Danielle's drama when there's a serious knock on my door. Are you for real right now? I fumble for the remote that got stuck between the seat and pause the show, ha! Good call dad this TiVo is coming in handy.

When I get to the door Jessie's standing outside with suitcase.

"Jessie wh—,"

"Your dad said I should definitely come crash here, keep you company, He also said there was chicken parmesan, pasta and chocolate truffles is the fridge…just to name a few," she's smiling at me and I can't help but smile back. I definitely don't mind the company.

"What are you watching?" She flops down on the couch beside me.

"Desperate Housewives,"

"Can you believe Lynette's marriage is falling apart? Man, I used to think it was built to last and those kids are so cute,"

"Yea," I say pretending to know what she's talking about.

She just starts laughing and swats my leg, "I've missed you," she says simply.

"I see you everyday at work Jess,"

"Yea, and you're always hidden behind a stack of papers and barely come up for air,"

"It's not that bad, is it?"

She nods her head yes.

"I don't know how you do it but seriously Ash, you _need_ to get a life."

"I have one," I grumble, she's been spending too much time talking to my father.

"No you don't,"

'Yes I do,"

"Are you really putting this up for debate?"

I don't say anything when she says this. I know she'll win and it sucks.

"Wine?" my desperate attempt at changing the subject.

"Unless it involves us leaving this house then no."

"It's really good," I bribe her.

"There's 'really good' wine on the street, in the club…at Takers," she's smiling. "You used to love that place."

"Yea I did," remising on my college years playing at the club and just having fun. That place holds a lot of special memories. I got my first kiss there, got my first record deal there, I fell in love there. As soon as I remember that, I feel Jessie's weight shift and she's hugging me.

"Don't cry Ashley, we don't have to go to Takers, wine at home sounds good," she kisses my cheek.

I hadn't even realized how glossed my eyes had gotten from all that reminiscing.

"No, I'll go. It's just—," I'm at a loss for words and I really don't feel like talking anymore, it hurts too much to think about _her_. I rest my head back against the seat and try to clear my head. Jessie gets up and comes back with a box of Kleenex,

"We can cry about it if you want,"

She's so sweet when she's trying to cheer me up, but I can't do that to her, she's been through enough with me already.

"No, I don't need to," I tell her.

"Ok, but if you need to, our best friend is right here," she says shaking the box of Kleenex around.

"Hey! Jessie guess who I saw last night."

"My future wife?"

"Haha, funny you should say that, but no. Kelly."

"She looks just as weird as I did last night."

I start laughing when her face gets contorted, "Kelly Shaw from Riot."

Heat rush up her cheeks when I say Kelly's name and of course my smile let's her know that I'll never let her live it down. Not now anyway.

"There having a Thanksgiving Luncheon in a few weeks, it's supposed to be some big fund raising, and she asked me if I would think about performing."

"Ashley!" I knew this was coming. "Please told me you said yes,"

"I didn't" her face drops.

"You should, that would be so awesome, I'd get to be the friend of the rock star again," her grin is plastered all over her face

"Jess, I knew something was wrong with you wanting to come to every press date with me."

"What? I got to pick up hot chicks!" she's defending herself.

"She gave me her number. How about we call Kelly and the three of us go hang out at Takers."

"Ashley Davies am I hearing correctly?"

"What?" I'm lost…

"Yes! Let's get dressed, look hot, and go pick up chicks! Your dad's gone so we ca—,"

"Whoa, too fast Jess. Too fast."

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><p>We're sitting at the bar when I feel someone come up behind me,<p>

"Hey gorgeous,"

Oh dear God, I look around to see the most odious…sorry I can't, I don't want to be mean.

"Hi," I say nervously. Jessie turns around on her bar stool and looks at the, uum, woman standing before me and I can feel her laughter, I'm not hearing it but I _know_ she's laughing. I hit her on the leg and she stiffens up.

"Wanna dance?"

Please God, let there be a miracle. I've never needed saving in my life than I do at this moment, Jessie, light bulb, click! _Please_ click. I'm silent for about ten seconds and she's looking at me waiting for an answer. I was done for. As I got up I felt a hand tug at me,

"Baby I'm sorry I took so long," thank you Jesus.

I look at the uum, woman and smirk, "Sorry, my girlfriend's here." I whirl around thinking it was Jessie to find the most a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring at me with a smirk of her own.

"Ehm, _thank__you_," I mouthed as the uum, woman walked off. I look over at Jessie who's wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"You're welcome, Martha's always hitting on people she's never seen before, and I know she seems a bit scary so—,"

"A bit?"

Then I looked down to where her hand was on my arm, looked back up at her and of all the times, a goofy grin is on my face that I need to get off…now.

"Oh, sorry," she says hesitantly as she pulls her hand away.

"Would you like a drink?"

"Sorry but I don't accept drinks from strangers." What Ashley?

"No, I work here."

"Oh," that was all I had, oh. Somebody save me before I make an even bigger idiot of myself, Right then Kelly walks in.

"Ashley, Jessie!" the look Kelly gives Jess has her smiling and faking all over herself.

"Hey Kelly, what took you so long?"

"Just had a few tracks to lay for this band we're putting out at the luncheon," she smiles at me when she brings up the luncheon," if she thinks I'll say yes she's got a second guess coming, I really don't want to do it.

I completely forget about the girl who just saved me from that uum, woman, Martha. When I turn to my left she's not there, I look around briefly to see if she's waiting tables but I can't see her anywhere.

"Shall we get a table?"

"Let's." Jess jumps in, as we head upstairs to the lounge we'd booked before we got to the club, luckily it was free.

On our way up to the lounge I spot the table in the corner where we used to hide out, all of a sudden I feel like something is tearing away at my insides. I'm really going to have to try _hard_ to enjoy tonight.

_Sigh_, when did living become so hard?


	3. Mr Sandman

**CHAPTER 3: Mr. Sandman**

It's Monday, shit where did my weekend go…I'm back on this Masterson case and I hate it. I've been in the office less than five hours and already I want to leave. I've never felt so out of tune before. I drop my head on the stack of papers before me and take deep breaths; I feel a headache coming on. And what's with that banging on the door? I groan inwardly as the door pushes open. I look up to see Jessie standing with a coffee tray in her hand and motion for her to come in and close the door. She sits across from me, I know that look.

"Are you sure you don't need any help Ashley?"

I rub my eyes and press my palm against my forehead looking down at the stack of files in front of me, _Masterson__'__s __a __piece __of __work_.

"No it's fine, I need to do this one on my own."

She frowns when I say this she leans over and sweeps the stack off the table with her hand before placing the coffee in front of me.

"Drink," ok when did my mother suddenly rise from the dead again?

"Jess what th—,"

"No, thank me later," she looks at me with stern eyes, "Drink."

Two mouthfuls of Joey's coffee and I feel myself coming together, my head is still pounding but it's a start.

"I'm not going to watch you burn out and run yourself into the ground," she whispers.

"Jess," I'm not sure what to say at this point. I never meant for this to happen, I just needed an escape, a way to forget. My lick my suddenly dry lips, when I look up at Jessie she's crying.

"Please don't Jessie, I'm sorry."

She's wiping away the tears and I feel like the worst person in the world. When she looks at me, her eyes a little dryer this time I know that it's time for that talk, but I'm at work, I can't do this…not here. My knees start shaking when I think back to the life I used to have, when did it become so difficult? I used to be happy, smiling at Jessie, we used to be happy. My dad was happy too. I didn't realize that my life affected so many, this is a lot to take in. Jessie's sigh breaks my concentration,

"I didn't mean for you to see that just now sorry,"

"No, please don't. It's ok, I guess there's a lot I have to sort out."

"Right," her eyes quickly leave mine as she gets up to pick up the files she threw off earlier. When she's done she looks as if she's scared to tell me something,

"What?"

"I persuaded Michaels to take over the Masterson case Ashley, you honestly don't need this right now and there are a few things we have to do."

"You what?" I was trying not to raise my voice but honestly?

She's not saying anything.

"For Pete's sake Jess, I'm not a child!" I get up so we're on the same level.

Her silence is making me really angry now.

"What could possibly be more important than this Jess? Tell me, because I obviously don't know."

Her lips are pursed, and she's still not saying anything, when I go to open my mouth again she beats me to it and breathes,

"Amanda." Then without waiting for my reaction she turns and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

It had been so long since I heard her name; I was close to forgetting what it sounded like, _damn __it __Jessie_, why do you always do this. Jess's voice kept ringing in my head with the sound of Amanda's name. _Damn __it_, its hard even thinking about her name. I run my palm across my cheeks, they're wet…of course they are, this is what happens when you cry.

Why am I crying? I told myself I wouldn't. I need to leave, I can't do this here. I grab my purse and head out the door, when I pass the hall Jessie isn't there, _figures_. I went home and turned into a puddle on my living room floor, thank God my dad isn't home I honestly couldn't handle '21 questions' right now. It seemed like my tears were never ending, I hadn't cried so much in the beginning so why now, build-up? The only thing I was certain of anymore was the fact that the pain of losing her lead to me losing myself, and I was lost but I decided years ago that I didn't need saving, I didn't want to open myself like that again.

When I wake up I'm on the couch and there's a blanket up to my waist. I ease myself up my elbows and look forward to see Jessie sitting at the far end of the couch; I know she's been crying. She turns to look at me,

"I'm sorry."

I'm really not in the mood for talking right now but I'd rather get this over with sooner than later.

"It's ok."

"No it's not Ash."

"I know she's not coming back. I get it…please just leave it alone."

"That's not it."

"Then what is it Jessie?"

"Look at yourself, look at your life."

"My life is perfectly fine."

"When was the last time you heard 'I love you' from someone besides me or your dad?"

Where's she going with this?

"Tell me the last time you woke up and felt _really_ good about _you_? Amanda's dead Ashley, that didn't mean you, had to die too. You keep everyone away with a ten foot pole, pretending like you're always busy with work and that you don't have a choice when you do. I'm not asking you to go around and sleep with everything that has a pulse but at least try to make you happy. Your heart didn't stop beating so stop acting like it."

"What do you want me to say Jess," my voice is cracking up and I know its coming.

"That you'll try," she says it so simply.

"I did try, it _never_ worked and I'm sick and tired of you and my dad, always tag teaming to mess with my head. I don't want to be happy and I don't want to be in love. I did the whole love thing and guess what…it sucked. She died, she died and that was the end of it."

My throat is dry again and I'm just about on the verge of throwing Jessie in a wall right now.

"It wasn't your fault Ash,"

"How can you honestly say that Jess, she was running after me when the car hit her, it was a stupid argument, one that wasn't necessary."

"If she'd just stayed at the house like you—," I shoot her a look and she stops before speaking again.

"It's sad that Amanda died, but she should've listened. You told her specifically that you wanted to be alone, to process things. She knew you, knew how you got when you were under pressure and she still. I don't care if you loved her Ash, guilting yourself so you won't feel again is not going to happen, not as long as I'm alive."

I get up and walk off to my room without answering her. This isn't a guilt trip, at least that's what I keep telling myself. I grab a pair of hipster jeans, my chucks and a t-shirt, I'm going out.

"Don't wait up," I never meant to sound that unfeeling but it's too late to take it back now; that and I'm still angry.

I end up as Takers and I've possibly downed my 5th bottle of beer. I'm never one to be irrational and drink away my problems but right now I just want to be drunk and forget, hopefully the numbness sets in and I don't have to take another bottle, I know I wont be able to drive home and seeing as how Jessie so expertly gave the case to David I have no reason to be in the office tomorrow. More time to wallow, _Brava __Jessie_, you deserve a medal.

"Another beer?"

I look up to see the girl from the other night, her eyes make my breath hitch, just as fierce as Amanda's only…they're blue, but I'm not in the mood for company.

"No thank you."

"I wasn't going to give you any way," excuse you.

"Excuse me?"

"You've had too much to drink already…I just needed a reason to come over here that's all."

"Why?" I could've sworn I just barked at her and I immediately regret it.

"You look lonely and my shift is over," she is bold…very bold.

"I don't want any company," a bit of hurt flashes across her eyes but then I see a sparkle.

"Martha's here."

"Sit," I'm not about to be run over by that uuh, woman neither am I ready to go home so having her stay seems like my midpoint. She smiles at me then sits down, pulling my bottle towards her she takes a sip of my beer.

"Well you're presumptuous."

"And you're drunk,"

"No shit Sherlock," oh Lord, I haven't used that line since college, and I feel so rude.

"I'm sorry," she looks amused when I say this, what, did common courtesy die while I was in my shell?

"Don't. Look, I know I'm being a little rude coming over here and invading your personal space but I just need a break from my brother," she nods her head over towards the bar counter and I see a guy doing stunts while pouring liquor.

"He's quite the entertainer," I muse.

"Yea, that's why I need a break. I'm not in the mood for competition tonight."

"You can stay, its fine." I look at her and she's staring at me. "Then again blue does bare a resemblance to green."

"What?" oh shit, I need to learn to keep my thoughts in my head.

"Nothing, I need to go to the bathroom." I get up and head south, I need to collect myself, tonight's not a good night to have word vomit.


	4. And Your Name Is?

**Never thought I'd get back here before Christmas, sorry for the delay guys. Short chapter but hey, UPDATE!**

**I own SoN? Uuuuh NO! (pssh, where would you get that idea from?)**

**CHAPTER 4: And Your Name Is...?**

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><p>I've been staring in the mirror for twelve minutes now; my eyes feel sore from all the crying. Right now I feel like I'm about to pass out, <em>damn<em>_alcohol_. I splash some more water on my face, I've got to be hallucinating, it's like I can see her, standing right beside me, her smile, those piercing green eyes. _Shit_, why is this happening? Shaking my head so my brain rattles doesn't make the images go away, it only hurts.

"_Ashley_," her voice is as clear as day

"_You__'__re __not __real_," I can't believe this is happening to me.

"_Ash, __it__'__s __ok_."

I can't help but fall on the floor, again with the memories, and the tears.

"_Baby __I__'__m __so __sorry,__if __I __could __I __would __take __it __all __back_," the tears are flooding in and I'm not trying to stop them, I'm tired. I don't hear her voice anymore but I feel strong arms wrap around me as I grovel in my own pity on the floor. The incessant pain in my chest hurts so badly. I swore at that point I was going to die, drunk and alone, on the bathroom floor of a bar. Well, not alone.

"Sshh, it's ok, I got you."

I feel fingers brushing away the hair from my face and holding my head against a firm chest as I'm being rocked back and forth, there are lips placing kisses to the top of my head.

I shouldn't have had so much to drink, there's a bad taste in my mouth and if I know myself I'm about to—.

_Jesus __Christ_ my head, this pounding can _not_ be normal. I roll and fall on the floor. _Fuck_, that hurt. Where the hell am I? It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the dark, there's a dim light to the far side of the room, ok this is definitely not my house. _Oh __shit, __I__'__ve __been __kidnapped, __raped, __damn __I __need __to __get __an __HIV __test __done_, my heart starts pounding in my chest and I try to get up off the floor but I only make it a back to the couch I fell from, I'm so weak and this room is getting darker than it was before.

The room is brighter than I remember it, my headache is faint but it's still there. I smell lavender, and fresh cut grass, sounds like its raining too; I close my eyes and take in the sound of rain on the window pane. The smile on my lips quickly fades when I hear a voice.

"You're awake," she's standing over me, and she's smiling, what the hell is going on? When she asks me if I'm okay I simply nod, the taste in my mouth is deadly, I need a mint, I reach in back pocket, _perfect_, tic-tac. I expertly pop two in my mouth before drinking the glass of water she hands me, and she's still smiling, this is starting to get creepy.

"Are you feeling better?" she scoots down and feels my forehead with the back of her hand, "You had a slight fever."

"I try to speak but I realize my throat is dryer than my body had let on. _Of __all __the __times __to __be __sick_."

"Let me guess, hoarse throat? Drink this," she lifts the spoon and puts it to my mouth, I'm not sure what's in there but I figured if she wanted to poison me she would have already. I lick my lips, _mmm_, this tastes pretty good.

She laughs and her eyes light up, "Good right? Honey, lime, garlic and eucalyptus, it's an old Caribbean remedy, works miracles."

"I see," quirking my eyebrows at her. "Where am I?" I've wanted to ask that for a while now.

"My place, don't worry, it's not far from the bar. In case you're wondering, no we didn't have sex," is she serious?

"You were crying, threw up, then fainted and I didn't have anyone to call so…"

My cheeks are burning right now, I'm so embarrassed…I can't believe I made such a fool of myself, kill me now. I groan inwardly as I bring my hand up to cover my eyes. It doesn't take long before I feel her pull my hand away, cradling my face with her own, she smiling again, but she needs to stop.

"It happens," she says simply, trying to make me feel better.

"Not to me," I snarl.

"If you say so," she gets up and saunters off to the kitchen, _hmm __nice __ass_, _no __Ashley __damn __it , __you __need __to __leave_.

I sit upright on the couch and rest my head on my knees, still too dizzy to take everything in.

"My head feels like a ton of bricks fell on it," it's a good thing I don't have work tomorrow, _thank __you __Jessie_, yes I'm still mad.

She comes back into the room with my jeans and t-shirt in hand. I hadn't even realized I wasn't wearing my own clothes, my cheeks start burning again and I know she's staring at me. I sheepishly look up to see her eyes shining.

"Wow, you offend easily,"

"No, I just—this just doesn't always happen to me."

She quirks her eyebrow, "You said 'doesn't always' does that mean it's happened before?"

"No, never," I say softly. Why is she overanalyzing everything? That's my job.

"Here, I put them in the wash; I hope you don't mind the soap I used."

I bring the bundle to my nose and inhale deeply, _lavender __and __lilies_.

"I just might switch," I tell her smiling; it's the first time I've smiled all night.

"Don't, you already smell perfect." She turns away as soon as she says this, I don't think that was meant for my ears. When she turns back to me I can't help the cocky grin that's on my face.

After I change I find her in the kitchen with a bowl of ice-cream in her hand as she leans against the counter eating.

"Want some?"

"No, I should really get going, thank you."

She sighs and pushes herself off the counter, "Your car is parked at the back of the bar so it's safe," shoving her hand in her front pocket she pulls out keys of her own, "I'm driving."

This is _so_ not happening, "How about I drive and I'll bring your car back tomorrow,"

"You're drunk, crash my car and your insurance wont be able to cover it,"

"You'd be surprised to know,"

"Get pulled over by the cops _and_ my car gets impounded and a bad rep, I'll kill you."

I raise my brow at her, she's not taking me home and that's just about it this night has already gone too far from strange.

"I'll walk," I scowl at her.

"You don't know where you are and it's raining outside,"

"I'll manage."

"Let me drive you home or crash here for the night, pick one."

Suddenly her driving me home doesn't seem so bad, I don't think I can stay here with her, she—she's infuriating! This is the type of shit that happens when you leave your house, Jessie and her stupid argument. I miss her, I hope she's been ok since I've been gone; I left her alone at the house and not in the best state. Now I regret getting mad at her in the first place.

"Have you decided yet?" she seriously has the worst timing, can't she see I'm trying to show my situation with Jess some sympathy?

"Sure," this is bound to be an interesting ride, _not __likely_.

Except for me giving directions the ride to my house was pretty much quiet, and then I made the stupid mistake of humming to a Brad Paisley song before '_accidentally_' belting out the chorus.

"You sing," she nodded her confirmation without needing an answer from me. If I could have sunk lower into that passenger seat I would've.

"It's the house on the right," pointing to my house.

"Nice digs," how she managed to see anything in the rain is beyond me.

"Thank you…for the ride,"

"You're welcome Ashley," it's the first time I've heard her say my name and it just made me realize that I've yet to know hers.

"You can call me blondie," she smirks at me.

"Mind reader huh?"

"The best,"

I could kill her right now, and I'm pretty sure she can tell from the look I'm giving her.

"Good night,"

I go to open the door and she grabs my wrist causing me to look back. My skin is burning.

"He—here," she lets go of my hand reaches to the back seat for an umbrella, "You can give it back tomorrow when you come to pick up your car."

I take it without answering, then open the door and leave. I know; rude but I couldn't afford for my voice to crack in her presence. When I open the door, the lights are off and Jessie's asleep on the couch. I sneak pass her to avoid confrontation and run upstairs to get changed, when I get back down she's still sleeping. I go to draw the curtains at the window and realize she's still out there.

* * *

><p><strong><em>and your thoughts are?<em>**


	5. With Intent

**First update since 2012, wow. Hya guys, sorta long hiatus but I'm filling in, sorta. Thank you for all the favourites and alerts that are surprisingly still coming in. I know it's been a while but here's an update. hopefully I can finish this by September.**

**Have a good read guys!**

**CHAPTER 5: With Intent**

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><p>Jesus what is that sound, uugh. I role over burying my head into the pillow.<p>

"Ashley! Wake up!"

"Leave me alone Jess,"

She's jumping on the bed, why is she jumping? _5 minutes later_, she's still jumping, is she serious? I grab her ankle and she falls backwards on the bed.

"Christ Ash! What'd you do that for?"

Her reaction has me rolling right now, "You know it's not good to have such a laugh so early in the morning right?"

"Says who?" she hit's me over the head with a pillow.

"What!" I sit upright, a bit annoyed, _so_ tired though. "Damn it, I'm late for work."

"Calm down Ash, no work today, Michaels? Masteron? Any of that ring a bell? Besides, it's raining outside."

As she says that my mind flashes back to last night.

"_Ash?"_

_Okay_, what's with the sly undertone?

"_Jessie?_"

A huge grin plasters her face and I can't help but ask "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Seriously Jess, your scaring me," seriously.

"What time did you get in last night?" And finally she speaks; maybe we can actually have a conversation now.

"I don't remember, it was late." I am _so_ not ready to have this conversation. _Ok, so maybe I wanted to talk but now I'm not so sure._

"_What were you doing_?" she has that sing-song going on and I know she's not going to stop until she finds out what happened last night. At the realization of this I flop back onto the bed covering my eyes as I prepare myself for the torture.

"_Well Ashley?_" She jumps up and splats further up on the bed, curling a pillow under her chin as she sits with her legs crossed.

"I went to Takers, had a drink, _end_ of story." I'm pretty sure that from my shortened version she can tell that I don't want to talk. "It's _so_ early, I need coffee" I say yawning.

"_End_ of story? Ash you got home at 2:17AM after leaving at like 6:00PM and all you did was have a drink?

_What th—, how did sh—,_ "Jess, you were sleeping when I got in."

"You think, I was sleeping when you got in, but I couldn't fall asleep knowing you were out there, so I waited up, and pulled a fast one when I heard your key in the door," she has this goofy grin on her face and I can't help but smile too.

"Thanks for waiting up, and I'm so—,"

"Nada Ash," she quickly cuts me off, "no time to stray, back to what you were doing last night,"

There's a ghastly look on my face, "You just cut me off mid apology, I can't believe you ju—, I hope you know you're never getting another one of those."

"I'll live," she's laughing now, "So tell me, what did you do at Takers?"

"I told you, I had a drink,"

"With?"

"With? What do you mean with?"

"Seriously Ashley?"

"I was alone," I turn on my side; this conversation is so over, especially when I feel like this, so unsure.

"_Or_, you were with someone, the same person who drove you home, I couldn't help but realize your car isn't in the driveway."

"What are you, FBI?"

"I think you were with a certain bartender,"

When she says this I find my mind drifting back to last night…

"_Here, I put them in the wash; I hope you don't mind the soap I used."_

_I bring the bundle to my nose and inhale deeply, lavender and lilies._

"_I just might switch," I tell her smiling; it's the first time I've smiled all night._

"_Don't, you already smell perfect."_

My train of thought is instantly broken when Jess starts laughing,

"Look at you, all smiles from a memory,"

"I don't know what you're talking about Jessie," I pull the sheet over my head, "this conversation is so over, I'm going back to bed."

"Wait what? Don't I get a name?"

"I don't know her name," God this is so embarrassing.

And she's laughing again, "Jess really?"

"You don't know her name Ashley? That's a first."

"Yea well, I'm not interested."

She gets up and slaps me with another pillow.

"You're such a liar."

"How would you know? You weren't even there!"

"Haha!" ok that was so random. _Why do I bother_?

"Jessie, there's nothing interesting there, nothing happened...sorta,"

"C'mon tell me," she jumps back on the bed smothering me; I can feel my breath stopping.

"I want to hear, everything."

"She drove me home. I had a little too much to drink."

"Ash, that's not the way to play the seductive mistress,"

"I wasn't trying to be seductive, just less pissed but that didn't go too right."

"I should have been there; I would've fixed you two right up,"

"Well I'm glad you weren't, I can fix my own self up thank you,"

"I'm hurt, Ash. And if you're so good at it how comes you didn't even get her name huh?"

"Not answering that Jess." She's giving me that glare.

"So when are you going to see her again?"

"I don't know Jess; I'm not in the mood right now,"

"What about your car?"

As she says that the doorbell rings and that goofy smile is on her face again. We stare at each other in silence and the bell rings again, Jess jumps off the bed,

"No Jessie do—," I grab after her but she's too fast.

"Coming!"

If it's who I think it is this is going to be a nightmare. _Quick and painless, let's make it quick and painless._ I keep repeating this to myself as I walk to the bathroom.

As I'm brushing my teeth I hear Jess yell, "Ash you have a visitor! It's the hot bartender and she brought your car!"

_Oh God_, I groan inwardly. Remind me again why we're friends?


	6. I want to, know you

**And here we are...1 year later. I'm really sorry guys, life has been hectic, that and I was suffering from severe writer's block. Anyhow, that's no excuse. I plan to finish this...in time, here's a chapter until Tuesday! For those who are still reading, thank you. I wont disappear for a year again.**

**CHAPTER 6: I want to...know you**

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><p>Ouch, I think I might have rubbed my gums out from brushing too hard. I still can't believe Jess yelled what she did while I was upstairs, and I still haven't had time to plot how I'm going to kill her. When I get to the living room I can see Jess and the blonde bartender talking, she's smiling and I can't help but think to myself at how beautiful her smile is. I'm stopped dead in my advance when she looks up from her hands to see me standing at the door.<p>

"Hey you," she's still smiling.

I'm not sure if there was sound coming out or not cause then I was hit with a pillow Jess catapulted over to where I was standing.

"Stop smiling like a goof Ash!" so I guess no sound. God, can this get any worse?

Clearing my throat, I pick the pillow up and walk over to where they're sitting; slapping Jessie with it as I talk a seat across from our guest,

"Real mature Ashley, real mature."

"I apologize for my friend."

"No, it's fine she's been a good host so far."

I look over at Jess, and she has the most proud grin on her face. A little too eager if you ask me.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," clearing my throat and desperately trying to find a distraction I grab the coffee cup off the table, "Jess can I have some of this?" I don't wait for her to answer I just put the cup to my head, gulping down the contents. "Thanks, that was well needed."

"Why you're welcome," _okay why is she answering?_

"That was actually Spencer's" _okay, so why is she smiling_. "She was drinking that."

Oh, now I see. I shot up instantly, "I'll go make you some more, I am so sorry." _One disaster after another.  
><em>  
>"No it's fine; really, I'll get some when I get back to the bar. I brought your car around for you. I sorta got worried when I saw 11:30 and you hadn't shown. Started to think you forgot where the bar was, either that or still very, <em>very<em> drunk."

I could feel my face turning red as the embarrassment of last night seeped back into my memory.

"Yea, about that. I was a little tired after last night, not so much drunk...after...thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So, Spencer huh?"

"Yea, I didn't strike you as a Britney did I? That would have _so_ ruined my image."

"No definitely a Spencer."

"Good."

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever but it was only a moment, I noticed her eyes scanning the living room before it landed on the picture at the table by the window.

"You look good in black and white,"

"Huh? Wh—,"

"The picture," she nodded towards it.

"Oh, thanks." then there was more silence.

"So Spencer, how long have you been working at the bar?" _That_ was Jess' feeble attempt at getting rid of the silence.

"Wow, for as long as I can remember, I mean back when my dad ran it I used to help wait tables, my mom hated it but she couldn't get me away from it."

"So it's a family business then," _well duh Jess!_

"Yea, with my brother at the helm we're destined for awesomeness and serving majestic drunken goodness, speaking of which, he's expecting me back."

"You're leaving?"

"Yea, I am, it was nice meeting you though Jessie."

"The pleasure was all mine Spencer, and Ashley's."

"Ash, see our guest out."

_I swear I'm going to slap her._

* * *

><p>I saw her out, and stood there as she walked down the driveway, as she was about to turn on the street it hit me,<p>

"Do you need a ride!"

"It's cool, I'll walk."

"C'mon Spence, it's the least I can do."

"What did you just say?!"

"I said let me give you a ride!" why are we shouting again? I run down to meet her as she turns back up to the drive way.

"No, not that, you called me Spence, we're moving a little too fast here don't you think?"

"Oh, sorry, I never meant..."

"I'm just playing around Ashley,"

"Ouch!, was that supposed to be a playful push!?" hurt like a bitch, and why is she laughing?

"Sorry, so am I getting that ride?"

"Yea, just let me go ge—" she pulls my keys out of her pocket

"These?"

"Yea, those."

* * *

><p>The ride to the bar is quiet; as we're turning the corner of Duke she says something that has me slightly puzzled,<p>

"I wish you hadn't offered to give me a ride," _why th— ._ I almost hit a trash can.

"Why? Does it smell in here?"

"No," she starts playing with the extra glove compartment on the dash, avoiding the question.

"Why then?" She's quiet. I don't appreciate when I have to press people.

"I was hoping it would give you an excuse to come to the bar tonight."

"Oh, well…uum. Okay." I wasn't expecting that.

The rest of the ride to the bar was silent, not an awkward silence but not a comfortable one either. I side glanced her a few times, skepticism well written in the arch of her brow and the way she keeps biting her bottom lip. I want to ask but honestly, I don't think I want to have to deal with _this_ right now, whatever _this_ is. I pull up in front of Takers and before she unhooks the seatbelt to get out she looks at me, then she smiles. _Why is she smiling, ignore it Ashley_. After what seems like an eternity she speaks,

"I won't pretend to know you, but I _want_ to."

"You _want_ to what?" I could kick myself right now, _smart move_.

"I want to…_know you_," she's smiling again. It's infectious but I'll never tell her that.

I'm not interested. She's sweet but I can't do this now, the whole _knowing_ thing. It's going to take time and energy and I just don't. When I don't respond her eyes fall to where she's fumbling the ejection on the seatbelt.

"I'll see you around Ashley," she sounds so sure, hmph. And with that she was gone.

I sit outside Takers, the engine still running, thinking it would be better not to think about what just happened, Jessie's going to have her own opinion, and so will my dad when he hears about it, when did my life become theirs? I guess I'll know soon enough.


	7. Forward

**And here we are 3 years later. Hello everyone! What can I say, I got my muse back :). Happy reading!**

**Side note: picture Hector Elizondo as Ashley's dad.**

**CHAPTER 7: Forward**

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><p>"You know, you have to tell me what happened sometime," she's whirling the spoon in the air with left over cake frosting.<p>

"No I don't, besides as much as you'd like to think otherwise, nothing happened," I grab the spoon dipping it into the large bowl before us. The door opens and he's just standing there smiling. _God, he can be so cute sometimes._

"Ashley," he hasn't moved yet and he's still smiling, okay this is getting creepy.

"Hi dad," Jessie's grinning at him and that's when my light bulb goes off. I whack Jessie with the pillow upside her head,

"Seriously Jessica!"

"Ouch! What was that for?!"

As I'm about to hit her again my dad has dropped his suitcase and is holding me back trying to get the pillow out of my hand. I dropped it after realizing it was pointless to try and get out of this. I turn around, he's giving me a sympathetic look, and here it comes…the lecture.

"Ashley, this is _good_. _It could be good_," thinking again before he speaks. "I'm not saying to jump, but at least," sigh. "Go out, see this girl again, I want you smiling again."

"Dad please, I don't want to be doing this with you, not today" _not ever_ "How was your trip, did you catch any Bass?" He's giving me that look, he's not letting go of this conversation.

"Sweetheart, I'm just saying you should go out, not necessarily with this _Spencer_ I've been hearing so much about but,"

"Dad, I—" _wait, what?_ I snap my head around glaring at her, _why am I in no control over my own life; this is so frustrating_ "Jess what have you been telling him?"

"_Nothing_ Ash," she shoots of the couch, bowl in hand.

"Jessica, come back here!"

"In a minute," she yells back and then I hear the bolt on the bathroom door, _classic Jessica_.

When I look back at my dad he's fiddling with his watch, waiting expectantly but there isn't going to be a heart to heart right now, _defuse the flames Ash_, "Dad really, I went out to get a drink and got caught in the rain,"

"You have a car Ashley,"

_Shit, I forgot about that_, "It ran outta gas," I say defensively.

The wry smile playing across his face is getting wider, turning into a full on grin, "Dad really, I don't know her, I don't want to, she's unnerving and it ends there."

"Sweetie, it's okay. You my dear are your own woman so if you want to get to being forty and still be single that's your choice, but I need a grandchild before I die, I'm not getting any younger." He's laughing and as much as I wanna slap him upside his head right now he's so adorable.

"Dad this isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing baby," he kisses my temple before getting up, "Lunch?"

"No, I'm good. I have some paperwork I need to take care of. You can ask Jess, I'm sure you two have lots to talk about and _please_ let me not be the topic of discussion."

"I don't know what you're talking about," with that he's gone.

I know they mean well but they're seriously jumping the gun with this one. She's a character if nothing else, but there's nothing that's coming from any of this. _This_ doesn't even exist. I have a case I need to focus on closing, a best friend I need to stop from meddling in my personal life and a father who _needs_ a grandchild; my plate is full. Still, a part of me does want to know what happened in the car earlier and the other night the bar, on the bathroom floor I remember her kissing my head; trying to calm someone is one thing, being so sensitive with a total stranger is another. Then again, I think I'm reading too much into this. I blame Jessica.

* * *

><p>I knew this was a bad idea; I should've just stayed home. You know they always say curiosity killed the cat. In my case it just destroyed my favorite Queen t-shirt that my dad got autographed by Freddie Mercury himself. Wondering how a lawyer who never leaves her office and has no social life has such awesome taste in music? Hey, I was a rebel once. With that said I'm going to have to lose the shirt to try and get this beer out. Who the hell plays beer pong while walking? Already drunk at that! I know, the idiot who bumped into me while I was walking into the bar. I didn't see Spencer while I was making my way to the bathroom, I wonder—,<p>

"We have to stop meeting like this,"

I freeze, "Hi—I, beer…pongs and," _shut up Ashley, you're embarrassing yourself_.

"I see you've met Darren," she's grinning.

"Darren?"

"He's an idiot, but really sweet, except when he's drunk. He considers himself Einstein and claims reinvention; tonight it was beer pong while walking. My cousin, I'm sorry."

"Oh," I wasn't sure what else to say honestly.

"You know what this means though right?" _Why is she smiling?_

"What?"

"Don't look so frightened, I won't eat you. It just means drinks are on the house and _no_ I'm not trying to bribe you and _yes_ this is a date." She hands me a few paper towels and heads out the door, turning back before she's completely gone "Table in the back, is that okay?"

I nod dumbly. Not exactly what I was expecting but for some reason I'm anticipating going back outside. Is that bad?

* * *

><p>"You're not very social are you," she said as more of a statement than a question but I don't answer. I just keep swirling my straw around in my empty glass of what used to be rum and coke. I really should be going home but my theory is if I stay out long enough I can dodge round two of 21 questions…with my dad that is, Jessie's like a ticking timer and she'll be waiting alright.<p>

"Do you want to leave?"

"Huh? Uh—no, I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"Good, for a second there I thought I was boring you half to sleep. Though, the fact that you're _thinking_ and not paying attention is making me question my skills. Wait, _am I_ boring you? Because if I am you can just tell me—I mean I wouldn't, _sigh. Am I_ bor—."

_She's kind of cute when she rambles_, "Wait, Spence" I put my hand across the table to squeeze hers, "You're _not_ boring,"

"Just not interesting enough to hold your attention," she looks down at my hand on top of hers.

Lifting my hand to tilt her chin, "Hey, hey look at me. You're more than enough." _Okay, not exactly how I meant it but she's smiling and God it's a beautiful smile_. Snap out of it Ashley. "You're not boring. I've enjoyed your company. It's just; I have a lot thinking about."

"You did it again," her smile just got wider.

"What,"

"You called me Spence,"

"Oh. Too fast was it? Sorry."

"No. Not too fast, it's our first date remember."

"Ah yes our date. You're very forward do you know that, which may come off as rude to some people."

She cocked her head one side, "Do I come off as rude to you?"

"Not exactly, you amuse me."

"I amuse you? Like a circus animal? Or as an attractive, well established young woman?"

I had to choke back a laugh, "You really are forward."

"That was _not_ being forward. I ask direct questions, I need direct answers."

"I see…forward." _And I do find you attractive, those black cargo pants and that grey cardigan would look horrible on anyone else but you pull it off so well, sexy even._

"So what kind of an amusing am I?"

"The circus animal kind." She must know I'm only kidding.

"That's what I thought, you're sweet."

"_Sweet?_ No."

"_Okay_, so what were you thinking about?"

"Going home, or rather what's going to happen when I get there."

"Why? Passed your curfew?"

"You have jokes I see. No, no curfew. You've met Jessica."

"I have. What about her?"

"She'll be waiting up for me."

"Why? Are you picking up groceries for her or something?"

"No, she suspects I'm with you, so she'll have the interrogation room set up when I get home and I _really_ can't deal with that tonight."

"I figured, just wanted to hear you say it." She's smiling again, I need another drink. "Seeing as you don't want to go home tonight you're welcome to stay at my place." _Is she serious right now?_

I'm sure my 'dear caught in headlights' expression is what has her smirking right now. "Oh, um tempting but that would just add fuel to a flame I'm trying to defuse."

She leans forward resting her chin on down turned palms, "Tell me more about this _'flame'_."

"_Forward_. And there's nothing to tell. My best friend and my father are meddling in my personal life so it's no longer _personal_, it's become a family affair, _and you_ do not need to join in."

"_Ouch_, that hurt a little but I get it. You ready to head out?"

"Spencer, I didn't mean—," _Ashley, why are you so insensitive!?_

"It's okay Ashley. I'm not offended or anything, I just asked if you were ready because my brother making his weird faces at me from a distance behind you. Though these days I can never tell if it's a face or that's how he normally looks. That and I glanced over at the clock, it's almost 1 AM."

"Oh." I really had nothing to say, I was a little embarrassed in making that assumption. Her smile is back again. I've decided it's one of the things I like about her.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your car."

We're almost out the door when Spencer gets hauled from behind and spun midair by who I can only assume is her brother, and then he confirms it.

"Is that any way to treat your big brother Spence?"

"And exactly _how_ is that Glen?"

"You were gone half the night and I find you hiding out with this beautiful woman here and from what I know I can only conclude that you were on a date."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"Which means I'm right," his eyes shining at the small victory.

Spencer's grinning when she turns to me, "Ashley, meet my brother Glen. Glen, meet Ashley."

He reaches for my extended arm, "Just _Ashley_, no title?"

"Grow up Glen, you're such a child!"

"I _am_ grown; see the stubbles under my chin?" He's grinning like a little boy and I can see Spencer's smile.

"C'mon Ashley, before he pulls out his clown nose."

"Goodbye Ashley, I Glen, Spencer's _older_ brother was honored to meet you."

"It was nice meeting you too Glen, goodnight."

Spencer doesn't waste any time pulling me outside and walking me over to my car.

"My brother's an idiot, he's worse than Darren and he's never drunk," she smiles "I love him."

"I can tell. It's nice that you have each other. And no apologizing, you haven't met my dad."

"I would like to. Oh—I um, forward, sorry." The color in her cheeks lets me know she never meant for me to hear that.

"Maybe you will." I can play this game. "For the record Spence, you amuse me as the _"attractive, sexy, well established young woman"_."

"Goodnight Ashley."

_Smooth Ashley_, now get in your car and drive off into the moonlight.


	8. Say Something

**Hello Again! I had planned to get this up sooner but the real world came and swallowed me up but I'm here now! And thank you to all the awesome readers and those who take time out to follow and review. I hope you enjoy this chapetr, happy Reading guys!**

**CHAPTER 8: Say Something**

* * *

><p>It's been a week since I've been back to work, a week since I've seen Spencer and strangely enough I miss her forwardness, <em>sigh<em>. I think I might go to Takers tonight but I have all this work to get done, I'm closing in on the Masterson case and there's just too much to get done. _There you go again Ashley, using your mask_. I grudgingly eye the pendulum at the edge of my desk wishing I could feel as freely as it swings. There used to be a time when I was like that, a very long time ago. I can't think about any of this anymore I have to be in court in a few hours and turning into a puddle of mush prior is not an option. My chest starts to tighten and I can taste the saltiness as it reaches my lips. How did this get here?

"Ash, Susie from Regal ju—, _Ash?_" I guess I never heard the door.

_Green_, her eyes are still so captivating even behind glass, after all these years. _This hurts way too much. My body feels weak, the pounding in my head and the unbearable pain in my chest. It's time. _

"I'm so sorry baby. I never meant for any of this to happen. I miss you so much. I—I'm sorry _Amanda._" Her name falling off my lips increased the pain my body was feeling, I hadn't known that—I thought I'd let go already but I was so wrong. For the first time in five years I let myself feel but this isn't what I want to feel, not like this.

"No, no, no Ash, don't cry. Please."

The comfort of Jessie's arms are helping, they always help but _God_, this feeling is tearing away at me and no matter how long my body's been shaking for, or how many tears fall, it's not going away.

"I'm here for you Ash, I'm right here." Jessie's rubbing circles on my back, I manage to look up over her shoulder and the clock is staring back at me. _Shit_. I'm going to be late if I don't move. I pull back from Jessie's embrace and wipe my eyes trying to get my breathing under control.

"Jess, I'm going to be late."

"_Ashley_. Let Connor handle it, you know he will. Go home, get some rest." I know she only wants what's best for me.

"Jessie I can't. I need to finish what I started and I refuse to be the one to put another stick up Connor's ass."

"He does have a nice ass, though. Don't you think so Ash?"

"Really Jess?" I raise my eyebrow at her and she turns a bright red before clearing her throat. _I think I need to start doing some digging_. "It's just my closing argument Jess, last day. I'm taking some time off after this."

"Ashley! Seriously!?"

I'm crying again, "Really."

"Oh Ash, don't cry. Regardless of the reason this is a _good_ thing." Jess is holding me impossibly close and I know I'm crying again, the pain is back.

* * *

><p>"This was not a crime, but an opportunity taken for advancements to develop jobs and create a future. And for that sole reason your honor, Will Masterson should not be found guilty. Simply put; he did nothing wrong."<p>

"Thank you counsellor, the jury will now proceed. We'll meet back here in thirty minutes. Court is now adjourned."

Wipe that smirk of your face Masterson. I'm your lawyer but I don't like you.

"Well Davies, when they said you were the best they meant it, looks like we got this one in the bag."

"Don't count your blessings just yet sir, the verdict hasn't been read yet."

"Smart, beautiful _and_ modest! I love it and I appreciate everything that you've done for me thus far. I know you may not like me but this image is just for the industry, I'm a halfway decent, ask my wife and my little girl."

His eyes just lit up at the mention of his family; _maybe_ he's not so bad after all.

This has got to be one of the longest half an hour of my known existence. I'm in no rush but could this moment be moving any slower? When I look around I see Jess coming into the courtroom with a huge grin on her face.

"Jess what are you doing here?"

"I came to support my best friend and future lawyer. I sort of got myself in a bind."

"_Oh God_, Jessica what did you do?"

"Chill out Ashley, I was only joking. I brought you some lunch, figured you might be hungry. Then I forgot it in the car but I have Joey's"

I can't help the smile that forms on my face when she holds up Joey's trademark java cup in front of my face. "Thank you," I'm grateful for Joey. As usual, I can feel myself coming together after the first sip.

"You're welcome. It appears you guys are back in session, I'll be out front waiting for you in the car."

I'm convinced that the coffee is responsible for the time warp but hey, I'm not complaining at all.

"After much deliberation, in the case of Will Masterson, the accused of two counts of fraud, one count of plagiarism and one count of harassment; we the jury find the defendant not guilty."

I won my case, bruised Connor's ego, no smart remarks from the judges and made a bankroll, _all in a day's work_. Now it's back to the office to clear out and pack up for this long overdue vacation. When I get into the car I notice boxes in the back seat with my things already packed. I look over at Jessie who has a wide grin on her face, the only thing I can do is say, 'thank you.'

"Don't thank me yet, not yet." I eye her curiously

"Jess, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything Ash, I'm just really happy you're finally taking this well needed time off."

"I can get to spend some quality time with my dad,"

"With Spencer—,"

"_Jesus_ Jessica, what did you do!?"

"No, not Jesus and I didn't do anything Ashley I swear. I just figured, you'll have time to see her if you wanted to."

"I do,"

Jessie cocks her head to the side a bit stunned. "You _do_, what Ash?"

"I do want to see her," makes no sense hiding that anymore. "I've been thinking about seeing her all week. And it was the first time in five years that I hadn't thought about Amanda so when I saw the photo it broke me, I felt guilty…and a host of other feelings."

"Ash, I'm sorry." What did I do to deserve her in my life? Oh I know, being a wuss pays off with perfect friends. I reach across to hug her.

"I love you Jess,"

"I love you too Ash, are you going to Takers tonight?"

I start laughing; I swear she never lets up.

"Thinking about it," I say honestly. The first honest thought I've had in a while.

* * *

><p>"I heard you're going into retirement now my darling daughter so tell me, where are you taking your old man?"<p>

"Hello to you too dad, I'm glad I'm home too." I roll my eyes at him and he starts smiling.

"What, the Masterson case is all over the news and word on the street is my hotshot lawyer daughter won't have to work another case for the rest of her life after winning this one."

"You know that's not true dad,"

"Is it?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny those claims."

"I see. Dinner will be ready in ten my hotshot lawyer turned millionaire daughter," and with that he's back in the kitchen. He's something else; how my mother put up with him I'll never know.

* * *

><p>"So how do you plan on spending your time off?"<p>

My eyes go wide and I almost choke on my food. I swallow quickly before answering, "I'm going fishing with you and Jeffery," I know he hears the sarcasm dripping from my tongue.

"Really?" Or maybe not.

"No dad, I was being sarcastic."

"I know but an old man can dream right? But really though Ashley, do you have any plans, any _special_ plans?"

"I don't know what you and Jessie spoke about but I'm not doing it, and no dad I have no _special_ plans." I didn't say it as harshly as it sounded.

"Okay," he chews another piece of asparagus, swallowing before putting the glass of water to his lips, "Jessica told me what happened today Ashley, and baby before you say anything I just want you to know that I am _so_ very proud of you."

"Dad—

"I'm not finished," his eyes water a little and once again I feel my stomach fall, I hate that I have this kind of effect on him, I don't like it when he's so sad. "When I lost your mother—,"

"Dad, please."

"All I'm saying is sweetie, it takes strength to do what you did today and I'm glad you were finally able to let it all out. It just means you can start to move forward. I'm not saying to forget about her, I would never do that; but now you can start to be happy and I have a feeling that this blonde you want to see so much is going to be a big part of that."

I know the color in my cheeks just went a shade brighter.

"It's good to know your old man can still embarrass you dear."

"That's not funny dad."

"Who said I was joking?"

"You're insufferable,"

"I love you too."

"Are you sure you're my father?"

"I see too much of myself in you for you to not be my daughter. The question is who your mother is?"

"Dad!"

He's laughing till his eyes start to water, "I'm sorry sweetheart but you started it."

"You're one of a kind daddy and I love you so much."

"I love you too Ashley, and you're a heck of a woman, you got that from your mother."

"I'm going out tonight, just for a little while though."

"Going to see Spencer?" His eyes light up when he says her name, I'm sure mine did as well.

"Maybe, I'm not sure."

"Okay." Wow, that was easy.

"This is good dad, real good."

"I'm a master chef Ashley, what can I say?"

* * *

><p>"I'll have a rum and coke!" I think I just used the last of my voice on that order, who knew a bar would be this packed on a Wednesday night. I look around scanning the room for Spence but I don't see her. <em>Oh God no, not tonight, this is not happening<em> I groan inwardly. She's moving towards me before I can even move and there's nowhere to make a detour. _Damn_.

"What do you say tonight, want a dance?"

_I'm panicking, why am I panicking, I'm Ashley Davies, badass. I do not panic_.

"Hello Mar—,"

"No dancing tonight Martha, she's with me," _that voice_.

"Sorry to disappoint," _thank God for that_. I turn around to a piercing set of blue eyes and I'm beside myself, I think I just found my new favorite color.

"Hi."

"H—hello," I knew I wanted to see her, I didn't know I was anticipating it this much.

"So can I get you another one of those?" She's pointing to my empty glass; I must've gulped it down when Martha was making her way across the room.

"Sure, I'd love another."

"One rum and coke coming right up, Randy! A rum and coke for the hot brunette over here."

Before I can say anything she's looking back at me and smiling, "Yes, I said _hot_ and yes, you are."

I'm speechless at the moment.

"I like that shade on your cheeks, it's cute." She nods over to the back where we sat the last time, grabbing my hand and leading me through the crowd. I feel a jolt and Spencer looks back at me all the while smiling.

* * *

><p>"So is this like the VIP area?"<p>

"It is actually," she's grinning and it hits me how much I've missed seeing it. I'm not sure what's happened in the last week but you need to get it together Davies. Now I'm talking about myself in the third person, something's definitely wrong.

"I'd ask you to dance but this place is packed and I'd rather not have to be fighting off horny people who want to grope you.

"Spencer?"

"Hmnh?" She's smirking at me and I know she knows what I'm thinking.

"_Forward_,"

"Sorry. Hey, um I saw you on the news today. I never knew you were a lawyer, but then again there's not much that I know about you and I was sort of hoping that I would get to know more 'but then a whole week passed and I didn't see you, or hear from you not that you have my number and I j—," I've reached across the table and grabbed her hand, running circles with my thumb to get her to calm down. I forgot how cute she was when she rambled.

As I'm staring back at her the noise in the bar has been drowned and the only sound audible is that of Spencer's breathing, then just above a whisper, "Yes, I'm a lawyer, Harvard grad to be exact. I was hoping that I could get to know more about you too and you can have my number if you want."

"Ashley?"

"Spencer?"

"Forward," she's smiling and I'm starting to realize how infectious it really is.

"I realized." I shouldn't be doing this. I pull back and all too quickly curse myself for the loss of contact. "I have to go." What am I saying?

Her forehead creases together and the smile falls from her face and I want to take it back so badly but I can't.

"Huh, why?"

"I'm really tired, and I had a busy day today," _Lies…half lie…lies_.

"Right, I saw that. Okay. I'll walk you to your car."

"Okay." I'm such an idiot.

* * *

><p>We're standing by my car and I've never felt this awkward before. As much as I've been staring down at the ground I can feel her eyes on me. She's been staring at me for the last minute waiting for me to say something.<p>

"When will I see you again," she breathes.

"I—I'm not sure." I still haven't looked at her.

"Oh."

"Yea,"

"Ashley?"

I'm scared to move but when her hand reaches out and tilts my chin up to face her I can't do anything but be guided. As I'm staring into her ocean blue eyes, I see a half smile making its way to her lips. "I'm never usually like this; well I'm never _ever_ like this but I find myself feeling strangely different with you." She takes my hand and guides it just above her left breast and I feel my knees buckle. "That happens every time I'm next to you, even when you're just a thought." I'm not sure what to say. "I know that's not supposed to happen, I just met you and for all I know you might think I'm crazy but…I like you Ashley. So forgive me for being forward."

I feel my body pressed against my car, Spencer's hands supporting my waist and her lips on my neck, tasting a path to the corner of my jaw before licking my lower lip and taking it into her mouth, sucking ever so gently before she kisses me fully. _I feel like I'm about to pass out_. I pull her in closer tilting my head to give her better access as her tongue flicks out begging for permission. I moan into her mouth as her tongue glides across my own massaging the caverns of my mouth and I want more. As Spencer presses further into me, my body arches out to meet her, all the while her hands gripping my hips to keep me under control. I reach up and wrap my arms around her neck pulling her in further. After what seemed like an eternity Spencer reluctantly pulls back, our foreheads pressed together, her eyes staring into mine as if she's searching for something. I stare back at her silently, listening to her breathing steadying, waiting.

"Ash,"

I question her with my gaze unmoving.

"Say Something."

What are you going to say Ashley; you've been standing here for the last 10 minutes like a mute as this woman bared her soul to you while kissing you into next week and still can't speak. _Get it together Davies_. Before I know it I'm feeling soft lips against my own, slowly licking the corners of mouth before begging for entrance. The difference is this time _I'm_ kissing_ her_. _I'm baring my soul to her._


	9. Legal

**dnmann, this one's for you. I promise I won't take so long with the next update.**

**CHAPTER 2: Legal**

* * *

><p>"I kissed her, well, she kissed me…but I kissed her and, it was the most alive I've felt in a <em>really<em> long time." _God I wish I could kiss her right now_.

"Ash? Earth to Ashley…"

"I'm right here Jess, I haven't gone anywhere,"

"It didn't look that way lady, would you like a mirror? _Or_ would Spencer be better…"

"That's not even funny Jess," I roll my eyes as I put the last of the coffee to my lips.

"So was it a good kiss?" she's got that gleam in her eyes and I know that this is _far _from over.

"It was intense, to say the least. She's so open Jess, so open and so honest…"

"Not to mention hella beautiful," the grin that's been plastered on her face for the last hour just got wider, "_Really _beautiful."

My heart starts beating at a ridiculous pace and I feel like I'm about to faint, literally; _talk about schoolgirl crush revamped_. I shift in my chair to turn and see the most amazing set of blue eyes and I can't control the smile that plays across my face.

"Hey," she's so beautiful. I know I've gone stupid because I feel Jessie tugging at me before she said,  
>"Hey Spencer, Ashley says 'hey' too," then she starts laughing and I can feel my cheeks turning red, this is so embarrassing.<p>

"Hey, I didn't know you came to Joey's." Way to save the conversation Ashley, smart move.

"Nice save; I come here all the times, Joey's got the best." She takes a sip from her cup.

"We agree," and Jess is back in the conversation.

"Will you sit with us?"

"I wish I could but I have to get back to the bar, Glen's gone for the week so I'm on my own with management."

"Ashley's good with management, she could help you, right Ash?"

"Seriously Jessica?!"

"Wh— I was just offering your services," her defense which honestly made me want to slap her.

"It's okay, really. I can manage." I feel my face drop a little, not that I was offended or anything, just a little hurt I guess; I would want to offer my help, to be with her more than the ordinary without feeling… I don't know.

"Ashley, would you mind coming to the bar later to help me out with the legal?"

I can say I was a little taken back by the offer, "Sure, when do you need me?"

It was a moment before she answered, then she smiled "Is 1 o'clock good?"

"1 it is,"

"Great, I'll see you then. I have to get back now. Jess, I'll be seeing you…"

"You bet; I'll be your Maid of Honor."

"Jessica!" I could kick her right now, "Spence, I'll walk you out?"

"I'd like that."

We're standing in front of Joey's and images of last night start flashing through my mind; her eyes match mine and I know she's thinking the same thing too.

"I missed you last night, after you left." Her gaze doesn't falter but I feel my skin burning and I have to look away. _Pull it together Ashley, how is she getting you so flustered?_ When she reaches out and angles my face with her index then lifting my chin so our eyes meet I feel my knees weakening.

"I missed you too," I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I miss you right now even,"

"I'm right here though," she's laughing and I can't help but smile.

"So, legal huh?"

"Uh huh, I'll go over it with you later today, which reminds me, I _really_ have to go but…"

"But what?"

"Can I?" Okay now I'm confused; when she quirks a brow at me and starts smiling it all comes full circle. She's kissing me. She's kissing me and I've forgotten to breathe, when she tugs at my jacket and pulls me in closer I can feel myself letting go because something about the way Spencer holds me makes me feel safe. It doesn't take long for me to respond to her kisses but then she pulls away and I find myself missing the closeness. "I've wanted to do that for so long," I reach up cupping her face, pulling her close as my tongue traces a pattern on her lower lip before begging for entrance. I kiss her until she's out of breath, letting go of her but not completely moving.

"I've been waiting to do that for forever," and for the first time I see her blushing and it's a hell of a feeling. "I'll see you at 1 to go over the legal."

"Legal, right."

When I step back into Joey's I can feel eyes on me, I completely forgot about the glass; _awkward_.

"It's about time Ashley!" I look across to see Joey with a toaster in his hand and ridiculously boyish smile.

"I don't know what you're talking about Joe," embarrassing.

"He's right Ash!" Les yelled from the kitchen.

"Alright already, it's about time!"

Then the whole dinner erupts in cheers, I feel like I'm in an episode of Friends. When I sit back down at the table Jessica has her chin resting on her downturned palms peering at me, waiting not so patiently. I decide to hold my silence for a moment; _I have to admit I love the slight torture_.

"Jesus Ashley, I'm not getting any younger!"

"What is it Jess?"

"You're honestly asking that Ashley?"

"I'm honestly asking,"

"What was _that_?"

"What was what?"

"You and Spencer, tongues down each other's throat!"

"Jess, gross…stop."

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't as disgusting as I just made it seem but Ashley, I'm impressed."

I have to laugh, she's making it seem like I just exhibited super human strength. "It was just a kiss Jess."

"Yea, a very hot, steamy kiss, with a very hot, steamy blonde."

"Jess, what are you, 15?"

"Do you see that?"

"See what?" I'm confused now, that's been happening a lot lately.

"That," I'm seeing my reflection in the mirror she's turned to me.

"I can't see it Jess, what is it? Is it something on my face?" Jessie closes the compact and starts smiling, and then she says,

"Happy is a good look on you Ashley." She never lets me forget myself and that's why out of everything else, she's my best friend.

When I open the door I see my dad and Jeff plastered in front of the television watching a Giants' game.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

"Honey, you're home. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to come down to the station to bail my teenage daughter out of jail."

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"Jess and I were texting," _now I want to slap her_.

"Okay dad, can we play tag team Ashley's love life later, I'm going to be late."

"Oh, so you have a love life now? I see…"

"Dad, I have a thing and I like it, I like her."

"All I'm saying is finally. You're making me more proud than when you graduated Harvard with honors."

I'm not even going to comment on that, it's almost 1PM and I'm meeting Spencer at the bar.

"I'll see you later dad, Asparagus is in the kitchen; bye Jeff."

It's a little bit after 1PM when I pull up at Takers and Spencer's at the entrance leaning on a post. She looked good in her grey sweats and Ramones t-shirt.

"I started to worry you weren't going to show,"

"Why would I not show?"

"I'm not sure come to think about it."

"You had no answer Spence, save it."

"I did actually. Would you like a drink?"

"It's too early Spence,"

"I could've meant water, or juice…not because I own a bar Ashley," she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Sorry, I just thought—,"

"It's okay babe, stigma"

"Spencer?"

"Ashley?"

"Did you just c—,"

"Yea, I did. Is that—,"

"Yea." The silence was comfortable, "Spencer can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Earlier today, what were you thinking about?"

She cocked her head to the side, a little confused then she starts smiling when realization hits.

"When you asked what time, I thought to myself _I always need you_ but saying that would've been a little more than just being _forward_."

"Oh, okay"

"So, about the legal, you ready to go over it?"

"Sure," we walk to the back and up the stairs to what appears to be an upstairs apartment.

"I stay here most nights when I can't get home."

"You live across the street though Spence,"

"That's beside the point, sometimes I don't want to walk"

"Anything you say Spencer,"

As I stand at the window looking out over the view I can feel her eyes on me, and then she was behind me, her hands moving from my wrists to my shoulders, caressing; my skin starting to burn under her touch and I can't remember the last time I felt so expectant. When she starts placing slow, peppering kisses to the side of my neck I know I'm done for. I can't remember the last time I had someone touch me like this, or even the last time I _wanted_ to be touched like this. When she pulls my left lobe into her mouth, tugging it gently, I feel my eyes well with tears. I turn to her, trying my hardest not to cry.

"Ashley, what's wrong?"

Resting my forehead against hers, "You make me feel things I thought I couldn't feel anymore, and it's bittersweet, it's scary but I want it and I want you."

The way she kisses my lips with her hands cradling my face empties me.

"I wasn't very honest with you last night. I told you that I liked you, because I wasn't sure how you'd react to anything else but Ashley, the first time I met you, I told myself I was going to fall in love with you and when I felt it happening I—,"

I kissed her then.

This was as legal as we were going to get today but I didn't mind it.


	10. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

**It has been way too long, but alas! Here I am. I just realized this fic is way past overdue of being completed and I've set a timeline to complete it by July. Thank you for all those who read and take time out to review. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Promise not to have you wait too long on the next one.**

**CHAPTER 10: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner**

* * *

><p>"Well it really started when I was about nine, my mom could <em>not <em>get me out of the bar…"

"So you were a young alcoholic then,"

"Ash! Let me finish the story, do you wanna be here all night?"

I eyed her knowingly, smiling as her words played out in my head, entertaining more than what she was suggesting.

"Ashley!"

"Okay, I'm stopping," the way she gets flustered so easily is incredibly cute.

"Good," she's smiling at me and I can't help but smile back, "I was helping my dad wait tables and my mom had to literally tie me up to keep me out of the bar; she didn't _hate_ it, she just felt that I was too young to be getting exposed to the drunken bar fights and baby mama drama."

My eyes go wide at the thought when she swats my arm, "Really Ashley? You're so gullible; there weren't any bar fights...okay, maybe one, but it's not because they were drunk, Glen got his best friend's foot stuck in a pint...don't ask," she's grinning at me and I feel, for lack of a better word, _happy_. I lean back so I'm sitting against the pillow and pull Spencer up with me, "Where are your parents now?" She looks away for a minute and I know that feeling, "It's okay, you don't ha-"

"No, it's okay. My dad passed away a few years ago, my moved to Portland after that, she still practices."

"Spence," I can barely get the words out and Spencer realizes that. I feel her hand slip into mine giving it a reassuring squeeze and my eyes close.

"Can I try something?" Before I can answer she moves, swinging her left leg across my thighs, _c'mon Ashley, be mature this_, I can feel my face burning as Spencer straddles me and when she quirks her head to the side, "You're cute when you blush,"

"Cute? Nope, Ashley Davies doesn't do cute. I slipped that suit when I turned twelve."

"Okay, a different one then?"

Her eyes are burning into mine and again I can barely get the words out, but this time it's a different feeling. I nod my response and feel her shift, her hands moving up to cup either sides of my face, slowly pulling me forward. Lips ghost across my own, a gentle tongue sweeping across in the process. I feel my body waking up and in that instant she pulls away, staring and the silence is maddening. She's drawing patterns all the while trailing up and down my arms, she still hasn't said a word but I don't mind it; when she reaches my wrists I pull my hands from hers and grab hold of her wrists, finding her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, really," she's biting her bottom lip and I know she's not being honest. I train her eyes to look at me, "You can talk to me you know,"

"I know,"

_This is me waiting Spencer_, an arched eyebrow and she still hasn't said anything, if she keeps at this she'll be the death of me.

"When I look at you this song starts playing in my head and then there are so many things I wanna say to you Ash but I can't.., not yet."

"Why not?" I try not to frown at her statement.

"You don't think it's too soon?"

I think for a minute and I know what she's asking, I know what she means when she asks it, I can see why, it doesn't feel that way though. A thousand thoughts run through my mind,

"No."

"No?"

"No."

My hand finds the back of her neck and pulls her down, when she kisses my lips I can't help but smile, _this feels amazing_; she smiles back, her hands finding purchase on my hips pulling me into her. Never breaking the kiss, I shift from under her and move so now I'm on top, I start trailing kisses down her neck, biting down then licking the sensitive skin; I feel Spencer shiver beneath me, when I look at her, her eyes are shining.., _I know that look_. She tugs at my shirt, pulling me back into her, her lips crashing down on mine, a new wave of desire sweeping in my lower abdomen. I hear her moan and it's _so sexy_, _"You're beautiful"_ she whispers as she licks the shell of my ear. Her hand starts trailing up my inner thigh and it sends my mind into overdrive, _I want this, I want her but.._, I stop her hand before it can reach its destination, "Spence"

With her chest rapidly rising and falling, her eyes seemed calm, her lips pouting and her skin flushed, "I— I know, forward."

"I want this with you, but can we go slow?" I swear, I feel like 16 all over again, _going slow!? Really Davies?_

She's smirking at me and I can feel the color rising in my cheeks.

She reaches up brushing strands of hair out of my face, her thumb caressing cheek, "We can go as _slow_ as you need," my eyes light up when she squeezes my thigh with her free hand. As she pulls me back down to her, "Let's keep doing this though," and before I know it, her lips are on mine and this, I never want to stop.

* * *

><p>"Dad, I'm not inviting her to dinner… Jeff, tell him I'm not inviting her to dinner." This is <em>unbelievable<em>; it hasn't even been five minutes yet since I've stepped through the door.

"But Ashley, I wanna meet this hot, young blonde Jessica's been telling me all about," his eyes light up and he's smiling and…_gosh, he's so adorable_..._sigh_. "If I ask her to come will you agree not to make it awkward?" His smile has now turned into a full on grin, "I promise." I nod gratefully, _that was easy_. "You do a good job of that on your own," _did he really just say that?_ He's laughing now and so is Jeff, then Jessie walks in, _the paparazzi scandal that is my life_.

"Why is everyone laughing?" then she looks at me, "Everyone except Ashley that is."

"She's decided to invite her girlfriend to dinner,"

"She's not my girlfriend," is he serious right now?

"But you're kissing her, _all the time_"

"Shut up Jess!" I can't believe she just said that.

"Back in my day, the only time you kissed a girl was if the two of you were dating, he looks across to Jeff.

"That's so true Raife, kids nowadays," none of this is _actually_ happening right now. The three of them are insufferable, _my family_.

"Jess can I talk to you for a minute?" I don't give her a chance to answer; I grab her wrist and haul her out of the room behind me.

"Hot, young blonde?"

She's grinning, "This is no time for grins Jess, what exactly have you been saying to my dad?"

"That Spencer's young, hot.., and blonde"

"Jess, I'm serious!"

"So am I Ash. Quick pause; I ran into Kelly today, she wanted to know why you haven't gotten back to her as yet about the launch."

I inwardly groan, I completely forgot about that, _maybe because I don't wanna do it_. I'm not going back there, that part of my life is over. I don't want anyone saying _overcome your demons_, because there are people in this world who can use their hurt to make them better, that's not me; I don't go back, I move on because I'd rather not deal.

"I'm not doing the launch."

"But Ash, the music, the tons of adoring female fans."

I eye her questioningly, "Jess, no."

"But you _have to_ Ash, you're on vacation, so no work, you can focus on a stellar performance, it's perfect if you ask me."

"I didn't."

"Ouch. Fine then. Subject closed."

"Thank you," wow that was easy.

"What time's Spencer coming to dinner?"

I should've expected that, really, I should have. I pull my phone out of my purse and run through the contacts, finding S. "Hey, are you free for dinner tonight?"

"_Ashley..., this is so forward."_

"Is that a yes?"

"_Sure._"

"Good. My dad's expecting you, and Jess, and Jeff."

"_Who's Jeff?_"

"My dad's friend. Dinner's at 6:30. Okay, later baby."

I mentally slap myself, totally forgot that Jess was hearing that. _Wait for it_…

"_Baby_ huh?"

"Shut it Jessica, I have to go get ready for dinner. Are you coming?"

"Right behind you Cap'n."

* * *

><p>When Spencer knocks on the door I have to get into a full on sprint to catch it before my dad does, not the way I wanna start this is night. I step outside, needing to brief her of the crazies in my house before she goes inside.<p>

"My dad can be a little…," funny I can't find the right word right now.

"It's okay," she takes my hand to her lips and kisses my knuckles and it's strange how with the simplest gesture of affection, my heart rate speeds up.

"You're beautiful," she really is.

"You don't look half bad yourself, now let's go inside, I'm anticipating meeting your dad."

I walk Spencer to the table and pull her chair out, when she sits down; I look across to my dad who is just smiling. Jeff is gawking at Spencer, failing to hide his obvious blush and then the throat clears, _thank you Jessica_.

"Spencer, meet my dad, and Jeff; you already know Jessie."

"It's a pleasure meeting you both, thank you for inviting me to dinner." She sounds so proper.

"Ah, a proper lady. The pleasure's all mine my dear."

The table is quiet for a few minutes then Spencer says, "I loved the live show you did in Bristol back in '86," and I drop my fork, _interesting_.

"You a fan?" he chuckles.

"The biggest," Spencer admits proudly.

"Well my dear, looks like we're off to becoming fast friends."

"Ashley, you never told me your dad was _the _Raife Davies,"

"Uh...Um, well…"

"She never likes to tell any of her friends about me; sometimes I wonder where her loyalties lie."

"Hey, she never tells any of her friends about me either, "Jeff pipes in.

"Spencer, meet my dad, the badass guitarist with an out of this world vocal range and Jeff, the drummer with kickass skills. Are you guys happy?"

"I could do with a little more gloating, just like your mother used to do, tell her about my album sales."

"Dad, Spencer already knows about your album sales, I'm sure."

"Do you know about my album sales Spencer?"

She nods _yes_, the look on her face nothing short of amused.

"See, she never likes to tell any of her friends about me. If I didn't have all these pictures to prove I'd be a sad old man who thinks his daughter doesn't love him. But enough of that do you like the asparagus?"

"It's good, _really _good," she bounces a bit in her chair, nodding her head.

"Perfect, it's my specialty."

"It's true, saying that my dad loves asparagus would be an understatement."

"You know what would be an understatement?" Where's he going with this? "Saying my grandbabies are going to be absolutely beautiful."

I think my heart just stopped, _dad, really?_ Jeff puts a glass to his mouth but sputters some of the water due to his chuckling and Jessie, well, let's just say I haven't seen her this interested in asparagus in forever. Spencer's smirking at me, completely unphased by my dad's statement.

"I think so too," and that was it.

"Dad, did you know that Spencer and her brother Glen own Takers?"

His eyes never leave Spencer, his smile only grows, his eyes are shining, "You picked a right one Ashley, she's perfect."

Jessie chimes in out of nowhere, "So were you two able to get through enough legal the other day?"

I can feel the heat rushing up my face and Spencer puts a piece of asparagus in her mouth then points her fork in Jessie's direction, "We got quite a bit covered, and Ashley's really good at what she does."

When Jessie looks at me, brow raised in question, she smirks, "I can bet."

"Do you like fishing Spencer?" Jeff has been quiet for most of this dinner but his much appreciated at the moment.

"I've never been actually."

"Well maybe Raife and I could take you sometime; Ashley used to love it when she was little, though she never did catch anything but boy she could cast a line."

"I'd really love that."

"Lemon Sponge cake anyone?" As my dad gets up from the table he quips to Spencer, "Did Ashley ever tell you that her father, the badass guitarist with the out of this world vocal range is also a master chef?"

"I don't think she did."

"See what I mean, she never tells anyone about me," before he leaves the room, he walks over to me and kisses the side of my head, "I still love you."

"Dinner was pretty nice, I liked it. Your dad is a riot and so handsome."

"I'm glad you had a good time."

"Yea, me too." Spencer takes my hand, rubbing her cheek against my palm, "I'm going to miss you tonight. I already miss you."

"You're somethin' else you know that?"

* * *

><p>She leans forward, pressing her lips to mine, biting down on my bottom lip before her tongue slips out, begging for entrance which I all too willingly accept. As she's kissing me she whispers, "You should've seen the look on your face when your dad said <em>beautiful grandbabies<em>", when I pull away to answer her, she doesn't allow it, putting her arms around my waist, pulling me in further, deepening the kiss. Spencer slows the kiss, resting her forehead against mine, "I hope you weren't frightened," she's still trying to catch her breath.

"No," that's all I could say.

"Good," she looks at me smiling, "I have to go, the bar needs tending."

"Stay."

"I wish I could but Glen's out of town remember."

I sigh, pouting, letting her know my disapproval. Spencer pulls me in for another senseless kiss, "You're cute when you pout."

"Did it work?"

"Almost, I promise I'll stay next time." Then she pulls me into a hug and it's the safest place I've been in a long time, I never want to let go. I walk her down the driveway and as she pulls the car out of park, "They will be beautiful," winking at me before driving off.

* * *

><p>When I step back inside and close the door my dad is standing at the entrance of the kitchen with a bowl in his hand and a dish towel over his shoulder, "She's the one Ashley."<p>

"She _is _somethin'."

"No, no, no, she's the one."

I look over on the coffee table at the two of us, even in black and white her eyes are captivating. She was a wonderful woman. I never thought I'd want anything after she went away. Spencer makes me want things without even trying. Realizing my throat has gone dry, I lick my lips. When I look up at my dad, his eyes are easy, expecting.

"I'm falling in love with her."

He just smiles and turns to head back into the kitchen, "I _told _you!"

* * *

><p>So that dinner wasn't a total disaster, I don't know why I was so nervous; Spencer handled it like a pro. The realization that I told my dad how I feel about Spencer hasn't set in yet. I'm falling in love with her; I <em>am <em>in love with her. The thought resonates, my eyes close, and this could be the start an amazing dream.


End file.
